Oh. Was There a Game On?

Nice catch, Vincent. Too bad it wasn't in a game or anything.

I've reached a difficult dilemma this week. The Chargers (may or may not have) looked really good this week. But if I write that, I might be jinxing them. So now it's time for a completely hypothetical game recap. Stick with me here...

Let's just say there was a game this week between the Chargers and some team wearing orange and black. Just for the sake of this story, we'll call them the Cincinnati Bengals. Stupid, right? I mean, there's no Bengal tigers in Ohio. Dumb name. Just a really pointless thing to name an NFL team.

But moving on, let's say that in this hypothetical game the Chargers were able to slow down one of the better power runners in the game - call him Bedric Censon - and hold him to 53 yards on 15 carries, a 3.5 average yards per carry. This would be well below the Chargers season average and would represent a marked improvement in the Chargers front seven. Would you be impressed by this? I would too.

Let's also say that a somewhat slumping Vincent Jackson broke out of said slump to the tune of 108 yards and 2 touchdowns. Also, please allow me to say that he hypothetically did this against two of the better corners in the League, who we will call Heon Lall and Jonathan Joseph (crap). I would be very encouraged by this development, and would regain confidence in the Chargers' excellent receiving corp, which had been completely carried in recent weeks by Antonio Gates.

Also, in this game that does not exist, why don't we also say that the Chargers corners gave up some big plays in the middle of the field, but consistently came up with big stops in the red zone, holding the Bengals potent passing offense to just one touchdown in four red zone visits. Couple that with two sacks of quarterback Parson Calmer and consistent pressure, forcing him out of the pocket and into two interceptions and another two passes that should have been picked, and you have a very good hypothetical day for the Chargers pass defense.

So all in all, if this game actually happened, I would be very encouraged. I would certainly like the team's chances in the playoffs, where they might see this same Bengals team again. I would feel very good about all of this. If it actually happened, that is. Which it didn't.

Photo Credit: AP Photo/Denis Poroy

Please. Stop.

It's ending, people. The run is about to be over. Every talking head in the world now has the Chargers challenging the unbeaten Colts in the AFC Championship game, and most have the Bolts winning. That's right, they believe in us. Mike Tirico said today on the Scott Van Pelt (who, I have been informed, is quite ugly. Sorry Scott) Show that the Chargers and Colts are the class of the AFC.

Colts, Chargers, draw a line, and then the rest.

Jeremy Green went even farther on Football Today, saying that the Chargers WOULD beat the Colts in the AFC Championship game. This - of course - is the first step towards disaster. Because everyone knows, once people start believing in you and even liking you, it's ALL over.

So here is my plea to the media: quit it. Just don't talk about the Chargers being a top team. Sure, you can keep it in the back of your mind that you like them, just whatever you do... Don't. Say. Anything. I'm gonna make it easier. I'll write you a script of what to say when the Chargers' playoff hopes are brought up. Just put it in the teleprompter and read. Cake. Here it is:

Oh no, not the Chargers. I mean for one the star of that offense can't get three yards a carry. LaDainian Tomlinson is DONE. And who else do they have? Philip Rivers? Overrated. Throws like a GIRL. And on the other side of the ball, they just can't stop the run. That line is just awful. Shawne Merriman is a shell of his former self. Can't get to the quarterback. Can't do ANYTHING. He's more concerned with fighting Chad Ochocinco at half time than he is with the game. All in all, this team is just not built for post-season football. Everyone knows you need to run the ball and stop the run and San Diego just can't. Do. THAT.

See, media people? It's so simple. All I'm asking is a couple months of doubt, then you can come out with your original predictions. Open the sealed envelope, whatever you need to do. Just give me this. I don't ask for much.

Chargers Defense Defines Toughness

I gotta be honest, I just don't know what to make of this. We are seeing a completely different Charger defense during this eight game streak. They're unquestionably banged up. Shawne Merriman is a shell of his former self, Williams and Bingham are gone, they're relying on Kevin Ellison - a sixth round pick! - at safety, and they somehow manage to get stops. The weird thing here is that they're not even good. The Cowboys ran and passed on them at will, until it came to the red zone. They get down near the goal line and it's like a different team. No other Charger team makes that goal line stand against Marion Barber, one of the best power runners in the game today. And while there are still injuries to be concerned about, it's cause for optimism.

Photo Credit: Chargers.com

It Almost Seems Too Perfect

Fighting out of the blue corner, unbeaten in the month of December since 2005, we have the San Diego Chargers! And in the - I dunno - silver corner(?), 5-9 in December with Quarterback Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys!

From that clever little intro you would think mismatch. The Chargers are the best late-season team in the NFL, the Cowboys have famously choked down the stretch in recent years. But let's not get overconfident. The Chargers are banged up on the D-line. In addition to the losses of Jamal Williams and Ryon Bingham, new addition Alfonso Boone will also be out. Luis Castillo and Travis Johnson are probable with some minor nicks and bruises. All in all, not a very healthy front 7. Meanwhile, the Cowboys finally have their entire backfield (Marion Barber, Felix Jones, Tashard Choice) off the injury report. That means a lot of runs breaking into the secondary where - surprise! - the Chargers surest tackler, Eric Weddle, is also out. I'm seeing a long run or two in this contest.

So the Chargers will not be slowing the Cowboys down. That means the burden is going to rest - as it often does - on the offense. Dallas is fast on the front 7 and 9th in the NFL in rush defense, so just count LT out. Really, just do it. I know you don't want to but really, it'll save you pain later. Moving on. The place where you attack the 'Boys, naturally, is through the air. They're 19th in the League in pass defense and have a habit of giving up big plays. Enter Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates, who have a habit of making big plays. Awesome.

So yes, it looks like a shootout. The Bolts can't slow down the Cowboys, and the Cowboys can't slow down the Bolts. In fact, I can't even give them the coaching edge, since Wade Phillips is also awful. But the Cowboys need a win, and I'm predicting some overconfidence from the Chargers with also these December comparisons. 38-35 Dallas. Former Wildcat(!) Nick Folk kicks the game-winner. My apologies.

Chargers: Hey, remember when we said we would build the stadium? Yeah about that...

You may recall way back in 2002 when the Chargers started making noise about a news stadium. You may also recall that the center of their argument was essentially this statement: "Give us the land, and we will build the stadium ourselves." Well a lot can change in seven years, guys. This is a complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous.

Well, long story short, the Chargers are gonna need some of your money for their new stadium. Don't worry though, they're good for it. They'll pay you back with really cool fancy stuff. Like office buildings, and urban renewal, and flippin' off-the-charts levels of gentrification.

Exactly how much they're asking for depends on the results of that fancy survey we talked about a few weeks back, but according to Mark Fabiani (who you may recall is the man who has kept his job for seven years without fulfilling his only directive):

"It's almost certainly going to involve some sort of taxpayer money"

Some of you may want to stop reading here, because we're getting into politics.

Mayor Jerry Sanders made construction of a new stadium "a priority" last month. Now I'm no Glenn Beck. I'm not so tuned in to the political speak of politicians who are involved in politics. But I'll tell you what I hear. When the great and honorable and dandy Mr. Sanders declares "it's a priority," he means "I am the mayor of a bankrupt city. I have more important things to do. Leave me alone." This is perfectly reasonable. But here is the only solution to the "we're gonna need some funds" problem that the mayor's office has offered up: The Chargers will borrow money from the city against future redevelopment projects. Cool. We build the Chargers a stadium, they built us some shopping mall once they get back on their feet. The only problem here, of course, is that the city has no money, which brings us back to taxpayer money, which everyone opposes. Crap.

So here it is in math terms, if you prefer to think that way:

Spanos money + city money + taxpayer money - bureaucracy - broken promises < Chargers stadium

Everyone is desperately trying to see a new stadium in this equation, but unless the financial situation changes in the next year or two, it likely won't happen. And if it does, it's fairly likely to turn our fair city into something closely resembling Sodom and Gomorrah back in the heyday.

Fingers crossed for some independent investors, everybody.

And Just Like That, The Chargers Are Good

Folks, I really don't know how we continue to arrive at this point. There's always a slow start, followed by a winning streak to get back into playoff contention. Thankfully it happened earlier this year and we don't have to rely on the Broncos going 8-8 to win the division.

Let's skip the pessimism for once here. Namely that this is indicative of a team that continuously enters the season unprepared and plays catch-up for the first have and eventually that second half surge isn't going to happen. Sorry.

Seriously, there are good signs here. And when I say good signs, I mean the offense has so many playmakers they can't have them all on the field at the same time. Seriously. In an offensive set there is a quarterback, 5 eligible receivers, and 5 fat guys (JK, linemen. You know we love you). The Chargers, currently, have VJax, Gates, Floyd, LT, Sproles, Naanee, and (Somehow???) Mike Tolbert. That's 7 guys for 5 spots. A real dilemma until you remember it's a good thing. offensive coordinator Norv Turner (See what I did there?) has been very inventive in giving each guy his shots, and the offense looks just about unstoppable these days.

The defense of course is a story for another day (Maybe tomorrow? Yeah, you're salivating. I can tell.) but all in all the team looks good.

Having said that, I still don't quite believe and I think the ceiling is probably a devastating loss to the Colts in th AFC Championship Game.

Image Credit: Getty Images

Breaking News: It didn't work

We'll Always Have Oakland is reporting today, Monday, December 7, 2009, that the Cleveland Browns are officially so bad that they cannot win even with the help of a blatant jinxing.

Wildlife special indeed.

Science Experiment

This week is a bye week. There is no way we will lose to the Browns. The Browns suck. Their quarterback is Brady Quinn. Brady Quinn sucks.

If this game was a wildlife special, we would be the lion and they would be the antelope. It's only a matter of time.

Thank you for participating in my science experiment. That is all.

Merriman, Castillo, Weddle Likely Out

Uh oh... None of the three practiced today and will most likely sit out Sunday's game against Cleveland. This spells trouble for an already thin Chargers defense, as Weddle is the most reliable tackler in the secondary and Castillo and Merriman - while still a shell of his former self - are the two biggest playmakers on the front seven not named Shaun Phillips. You may now commence worrying.

But wait. Who's that on the other side of the line? Is that-? Why yes, I think it is! It's Brady Quinn! Oh thank heavens! Brady Quinn! We're saved!

Week 13 Injury Report [Chargers.com]

Give Kassim a Chance

The San Diego Chargers offense is one of the most elite offenses today in the NFL.

Go no further than their depth at the running back position.

Future hall of famer Ladainian Tomlinson as the starter and then Darren Sproles, one of the best kick returners in the game today, at second string. The only time when this depth was beaten in Chargers history was a few years back during the 2005-2007 seasons. When the running back depth chart was as such: Tomlinson, Michael Turner, and Darren Sproles. Absolutely Incredible.

Regardless of the loss of Michael Turner, who deservedly left for a starting job in Atlanta after the 07-08 season, the offense is still top class.

The impeccable wide receiver core is unmatchable. Wide receivers Vincent Jackson, Malcom Floyd and future hall of fame tight end Antonio Gates, who might as well be a third receiver, create endless targets for Quarterback Philip Rivers to throw to.

At the start of this season, the emergence of Legedu Naanee as a catching threat and even as a threat when lined up in the Quarterback position in the Chargers take on the popular "Wildcat" formation has taken form.

This receiver core has so much talent, that even a wide receiver with two Pro-Bowl appearances has not made a reception this year.

Wideout Kassim Osgood, one of the best special teams players in the NFL made his name in college as tenacious receiver at San Diego State and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, where as a sophomore (playing for Cal Poly) he led the nation in receiving yards.

Osgood has proved his merit, time and time again, and even his pro-bowl appearances (for special teams) didn't give him any more clout in the Chargers franchise. He is on the list for the 50 Greatest Chargers of all time, and even this hasn't provided more receiving opportunities.

He has the qualities of a great receiver. He is a force to be reckoned with at 6' 5" and 220 pounds, he is quick off the line and the few catches thrown his way are usually caught. He has incredible potential but the Chargers aren't giving him a chance.

Osgood set out to play the wide receiver position when he started his football career, but now he is not being able to fulfill what he set out to do. With his size and speed, Osgood would be a starting wideout at almost any team in the NFL, and this is what frustrates him.

"I'm going to be a great receiver someday " said Osgood in a 2006 article to the Union Tribune, "Probably not in San Diego."

Chargers Sign OLB Marques Harris

Due to concerns about tendonitis in Shawne Merriman's foot and the Bolts' already thin linebacking corps, management has brought in former Charger Marques Harris. The 28-year-old Harris, who is most famous for backflipping after getting a sack, spent the 2005-2008 seasons with the Chargers before being released. He played this season with the 49ers before being released due to a hamstring injury.

The Harris signing likely means that Merriman will be held out on Sunday against the Chiefs to rest his foot. Not that it matters at this point, Merriman has been a factor like twice this season.

Chargers acquire LB insurance [SignOnSanDiego]

Ron Rivera, Redemption Is Sweet

After the fateful loss to the Denver Broncos at Qualcomm Stadium on October 19th, Ron Rivera and the Chargers defense looked worse than they had in a long time. They were missing tackles and assignments left and right and couldn't seem to pick up on anything the offensive opposition tried. I blamed Ron Rivera for that loss and said he needed to retool the defensive strategy immediately or they wouldn't win another game this season.

Obviously Ron Rivera reads this blog.

Because now, six wins later, the San Diego Chargers defense is looking like a determined force that opposing offenses fear to match up with.

The key to the defensive reinvigoration is unity. They finally realized that playing together and working off of each other is they way to win on defense. Throughout their last three games the Chargers defense has held their opponents to a 30 percent third down conversion rate, a phenomenal feat for a defense that was once 26th in the NFL on third down conversion stops.

For the first time this season, people are starting to hear of those who aren't considered the star defensive players, the "unsung heroes" as Chargers.com writer Casey Pearce puts it. Steve Gregory and Paul Oliver, who previously would just go unnoticed on defense, are starting to prove their merit. Gregory looked unstoppable with his pass coverage against the Broncos two weeks ago and racked up six tackles against the Chiefs on sunday, and Oliver whose 40 yard fumble return for a touchdown showed how deep this defense can be.

Even with the bevy of injuries plaguing the defense including figurehead lineman Jamal Williams, linebacker Shawne Merriman, and defensive end Luis Castillo, among others, the Chargers defense is looking like a serious force to be reckoned with.

The Chargers look like a completely new team on both sides of the ball, since the loss to the Broncos, and this new reinvigorated will to win will hopefully push them to a post-season berth that they are deservedly earning.

Don't Fire Norv

The Chargers have won six in a row, and the offense looks pretty spectacular. As a result, people somehow don't hate The Buzzkill anymore. And as the journalist (laugh) at the forefront of the Fire Norv movement, I'm fine with this. He's doing a great job with the offense. Just like an offensive coordinator should. So please allow me to clarify: I do not want Norv Turner gone from the Charger organization. I just want him gone from the sideline. He does not motivate or teach (most of the Chargers impact players came up under Marty), and this is what a head coach does. Mike Tomlin and Ken Wisenhunt don't draw up plays. They just yell at players and dole out high fives like they were pride stickers. We need a guy like that.

So as a show of good faith, the motto is no longer "Fire Norv." It's now "Move Norv" (to the coordinators' booth). I was gonna go with "Demote Norv," but move has four letters just like Norv and I'm very fond of the letter V. Also in the running were "Stick Him In The Booth!" and "The Sideline Is No Place For A Norv."

Philip Rivers: Just Havin' Fun Out There?

There's an article on SignOnSanDiego right now about Philip Rivers' favorite play from Sunday's win over the Chiefs was his "heave" to Malcolm Floyd which ended up at the KC 1-yard-line. Says Rivers:

"I really like that one because, first, Malcom made a great catch. Second, because it was one of those plays where you just heave the ball."

Now the easy criticism here is that Rivers is one of the more imprecise quarterbacks in the league, relying on the hands and jumping ability of his receivers and simply putting the ball up there for them. This is completely valid. Philip Rivers works with the tools he has been given: an unusual throwing motion, an eye for the long ball, and a basketball team masquerading as a receiving corps.

But on a more mental level, this signals a new Philip Rivers. Gone are the days of yapping at opposing fans and looking sour on the sidelines. This Philip is out the havin' fun! Just look at him about to bear hug Antonio Gates. He's enjoying himself while playing the game of football. Somewhere, Brett Favre is nodding in approval.

The article closes with this positively glowing quotation from Antonio Gates:

"Philip is one of those guys. A football player."

Well I sure hope so, Antonio.

Rivers considers heave his highlight [SignOnSanDiego.com]

Photo Credit: Sean M. Haffey / San Diego Union-Tribune