Chargers Vs. Chiefs "Preview"

Welcome to the Saturday Preview, where I highlight the week's matchup, attempt to be funny, and provide no insight whatsoever into actual football related matters. This is what it's all about, baby.

Tomorrow we face a team with - apparently - quite an identity crisis on their hands. In my extensive research for this preview (I Googled* "Kansas City Chiefs") I discovered a few things. One, the Kansas City Chiefs don't play in Kansas, they play in Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri to be exact. This is the dumbest geographical fact since I discovered that Minneapolis and St. Paul were the same thing, except not really. Here's an idea, state of Missouri: that area of Kansas City that's East of the border? Missouri City from now on. You're welcome, now you have two NFL teams and you didn't even know it.

Interesting fact number two, the Chiefs used to be a really successful franchise. They have 3 AFL championships (1962, 1966, 1969) and they won Super Bowl IV over the Vikings in 1970. Their best player in franchise history is most likely quarterback Len Dawson (1963-1975) based on a survey I did by looking for recognizable names on their list of retired numbers. They also had Joe Montana and Marcus Allen for a couple years toward the end of their careers, but who cares about fading superstar quarterbacks going to new teams?

Oh and here's your actual totally incomplete preview.

Offense: Am I afraid of Mike Vrabel, Glenn Dorsey, and Brandon Flowers? I was, but then I remembered we have Rivers, Jackson, Gates and (maybe) Tomlinson. Antonio Gates is ESPN.com's number 1 fantasy Tight End this week, so expect 2-3 catches for 5-10 yards from him.

Defense: Am I afraid of Matt Cassel, Dwayne Bowe, and the Ghost of Larry Johnsons Past? No. Not at all (Although I do remember Cassel at USC, crazy bench-riding skillz). Possible problem: Cromartie is questionable due to a bruise UNDER his kneecap (I did not know this was possible), and could be replaced by Former Arizona Wildcat Antoine Cason. If he does well I'm stoked, if not he's disowned. Kinda off-topic: They have RG Mike Goff this year, I guess we shouldn't have let him go.

* Blogger's post editor doesn't recognize Googled as a word. Blogger is owned by Google. Dumb.

Kansas City Chiefs [Wikipedia]
NFL Teams Map [CBS Sports]